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Friday, 14 October 2011

Dear so and so…enjoy the scary Lady’s rant!

Dear young children that persisted to kick the ball outside the window and against the house which I am trying to concentrate in…
I appreciate that you are enjoying the-not exactly cold-weather by playing football outside in the street, but is it really necessary to kick the ball outside someone else’s house and against the wall? Obviously you know I’m in here as the light is on and you can probably hear the cries of frustration as I slam down the book and begin pitter-pattering at my rather grubby laptop keys. The rhythmic noise of the football is worsening my head ache and is even irritating the small-however reasonably aggressive (…well when irritated…) rescue dog who has lived here for two years and still gets irritated daily by your idea of sports. However much I appreciate that you’re not inside playing on your Xbox-there is a field literally a few feet away from you-which already has stolen traffic cones in to use as goal posts.

From, your crying weekend neighbour.

Dear young (well younger than me anyway) girl in the short skirt and orange faced make-up…
what-honestly-was the point in calling me names? I don’t even know you; I don’t even live around here! I wasn’t even bothering you or your friend-who didn’t exactly knowledge my existence anyway. And after insulting me how is it exactly appropriate to begin insulting my apparently “Bristolian trash” accent considering your slang stopped you from stringing a sensible sentence together? Nice move. Yes I am wearing baggy black Tripp combat trousers straps and all! But its my choice how I look and what could possibly make you think I would change that to suit your idea of style-which is apparently pulling your school skirt up so its mini and undoing your button up shirt (which by the way allowed everyone to see your bra) so next time you choose to insult someone for how they dress pull your skirt to a proper length and wipe the orange foundation from your face-or better still just shush.

From the “Bristolian trash” ;)

Dear old lady…
When someone offers you help getting your trapped trolley on the bus either except graciously refuse or even ignore them…I think the middle finger was a bit much. I’m hurt! I was only trying to be nice! Not all young people will rob you, I’m a nice person (…I hope)! However I shall rise above it and hope you and your middle finger got home safely and whoever gave you the idea that we are all scum-is genuinely wrong. Some of us can be nice. However you were rather mean.

Yours sincerely, very upset girl who ran and hid on the top deck of the bus away from people.

Dear So and So...


  1. Hahahahaha! Sorry but that is funny getting the bird from an old lady lol x

  2. I was horrified! However the bus driver was even more confused to be honest. Ah well i suppose it was outside a pub!